Lately, I am having a tough time making friends.
While most of the people around me have already formed large groups, hanging out at cinema halls and eating pasta every weekend, I look at the stars in the sky from the balcony of my room, all alone. As motorbikes honk down the streets and the laughter of groups of friends fills the air, I look at them with vague eyes. While a gang deliberately occupies the same bench to stay together, I struggle to find a seat during lectures. While everyone is busy sharing stories about their love lives with their groups, I am struggling to take a conversation beyond a simple “Hi.”
Like almost everyone else, I also dreamed of making a dozen friends when I came to pursue my MBA. I would live my Main Hoon Na-wali “Lucky Era” college life and my Student of the Year-wali colourful life. That has always been my dream.
After all, an MBA feels like the last resort where we can truly be ourselves before entering the grey world of 9-to-5.
But here I am, in my college, all alone.
No friends for pillow fights. No friends to go jogging with. No friends to discuss movies with. No friends to try Snapchat filters with. No friends to discover Chhenapatnam Filter Coffee with.
And the question arises in my mind: Is this the life I was anticipating? Is this the person I have always been? Is this how my MBA is going to feel? Is this the same me who used to be yaaron ka yaar?
Then, one day, it hit me.
Yes, I need friends to make my MBA life memorable. But not at the cost of constantly comparing my life with someone else’s.
I want to make friends because I want to have a good time. I shouldn’t want friends simply because everyone else has them. I want friendship because I enjoy being around people, not because I cannot tolerate seeing other people enjoy themselves without me.
FOMO is very real in the present era.
For instance, we see someone posting a story about a road trip with their friends on Instagram, and the next thing we want to do is:
- a) show them that we’re also enjoying our lives by immediately going somewhere,
- b) prove that we’ve been on plenty of road trips by posting a random 2015 picture with #Nostalgia, or
- c) act completely nonchalant and post something like, “A lion is a loner,” when, deep down, it is anything but that.
As a part of Gen Z, I think falling into the trap of FOMO is incredibly easy. Seeing other people doing something and wanting to do the same is natural.
But friendship?
That’s something you need to guard.
Because the people who take a place so close to your heart shouldn’t be chosen just because you feel left out. The people you give a place in your heart shouldn’t be the ones who break it. They should be chosen because they genuinely make your life better.
Friends are important. But the process of choosing friends is even more important.
So what if it takes time to make friends?
Friendship is precious. And precious things take time.
Don’t be afraid of missing out on things in life just because you see other people experiencing them. Your life is different from theirs. And that doesn’t make it any less beautiful.
Life is different for you and definitely very beautiful for you.