Har ek friend zaroori hota hai

It’s been nearly two years since I last met Kaka. When he had called back then, for a stag get together planned in Lonavala, there was no reason to say no. Lonavala is gorgeous in monsoon as ever and my college friends had only got worse with time. I might as well could express my exasperation better in person than on a phone or a zoom call. Unlike what we had planned while leaving college, our meets had been few and far between, life eventually gets to most of our plans, so when the stars aligned, I complied.

Friendship is really a strange thing. You never find your friends, friendship finds you. Must say, hell has found me in their form. If you happen to be a girl and you have taken it a notch above in your appearance on a particular day in college, how would your female friends be responding: ‘slaying it’, ‘red hot’, ‘am green with envy’. aahhh!. Your day is made even before others have started noticing you. Now, when I went dressed up in a new shirt or a pair of trousers, my friends welcomed me with “someone has taken a bath today “, “dress whatsoever it’s the same old you”, “whom are you trying to impress”, I would be overwhelmed with their warmth! Of course, no one was spared on their reincarnation day. The more you are humiliated and berided, the stronger the bond grew. Praise of any form is strictly forbidden in male bonding.  As Lou Bloom said in Nightcrawler “A friend is a gift you give to yourself”. Each of us had got a set of staplers as gifts.

The cardinal rule of male friendship is to submit quietly when you are at the receiving end of the barbs from your entire group by smiling feebly or looking into nowhere. Back then, it so happened that one amongst us was at the receiving end of such firing and he lost his cool retorting “Why do you underestimate me?”. The complete sentence except underestimate was in chaste Marathi. Everybody was stunned, less by the outburst and more by the use of word underestimate in this fit of rage. More than two decades have passed since that incident, even today when he is picked on in a banter, someone surely hollers “Don’t underestimate him”. He would have never estimated the over-estimation of his underestimate in his wildest dream. It’s stuck to him like a tattoo reminding someone of a soured relationship. Just doesn’t go off…

Kaka was the least acerbic in our group. Gentle, unassuming, affable and fun to be around with. His hair sat on his head like a wig and his spectacles were friendlier with his nose more than his eyes, giving him an avuncular look. He had joined MBA course with some prior work experience and was senior to us. These reasons were sufficient to term him Kaka(Uncle) and he gracefully accepted it without any resistance.

 

Always wearing a smile on his face, he connected with everybody in the class. No particular reason was required to start a banter with anyone in the class. Kaka could have befriended the bench he sat on in the class. He was our ace in ‘Mad Ads ’ contests and we would often win because of his entertaining chatter. We lost many because he just wouldn’t stop. Kaka’s singular biggest passion in life is Hindi movies. His love for movies borders on the edge of insanity. He would indulge in Hindi movies on the either side of naughtiness. Quality of movies and theatres was impertinent. He rather preferred going to cheap, single screen theatres and buy the front row seat with rickety chair to enjoy the new release on Fridays. Now settled in US, I can imagine how badly he misses those single screen theatres and watching every damn movie.

After graduation, we both were in Mumbai for a while. Kaka rented home for his family in Mulund, a peaceful suburb of Mumbai then. The theatres were not far off from his home. Often, he would ask me to accompany him to any random new release in Ganesh theatre near his home.  After two-three outings at the same theatre, Kaka was so comfortable, he would stroll in to the theatre in his night dress itself. Seldom, when he would not be aware of new releases, he would just walk up to the theatre on Fridays, buy a ticket and then check on the movie playing there. Never ever I have seen or heard about anyone who goes to watch a movie without knowing its name. Love is blind and Kaka watches it with open eyes and ignorant mind. I believe he enjoys bad movies more than the good ones.

I often accompanied Kaka to movies, not to watch them but to watch him enjoy them: with child like exuberance and without a worry in the world. The bugs, rickety chairs, unconditioned humid air did not tame him. Kaka, doing well for himself, could afford going to a multiplex every week, but then he would have missed the atmosphere.

The get together met all the expectations and then some more. Everybody was just like MBA days except for physical appearance. Everybody respected Kaka’s invitation to come for the meet. After all, we should respect elders and obey them, especially if they have returned for a short time from abroad. Kaka regaled us with his movie watching adventures in US. Long live Kaka!!

–  Dr. Avinash Ashok Jawade

Prof.Avinash has interest in equity and derivatives markets. His interests also include trekking, visiting new places, reading books and writing articles on varied topics of his interest.

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